A spy informs me that one firm is already telling its employees to avoid shaking hands as a way to lower the risks of swine flu. I can see this sort of policy catching on. My informant wonders what sort of greeting should replace the handshake. I’m on it.
There are few times in history when you have a chance to create a new and lasting custom. I say we put our collective minds together and come up with a business greeting that involves no skin-to-skin contact and no exchange of bodily fluids. I will open the bidding by suggesting the forearm bump. I already use this method jokingly with my friend who has germ issues. It’s like crossing swords except you cross your sleeved forearm. The cooties don’t have time to penetrate two layers of sleeves. Or so he thinks.
This new swine flu greeting still needs something extra, such as both people saying, “Huzaaa!” when their forearms touch.
An alternate move would involve making a fist and holding it up to your snout sideways, as if you are forming a pig’s snout, snorting then finishing with a fist bump. That’s still hand-on-hand contact, but at least it’s the clean side.
Who has a better idea for a handshake replacement?