I suppose it’s the Dilbert cartoonist in me, but I can’t help seeing world affairs as essentially a bunch of middle managers sitting around a rectangular table coming up with clever ways to convince the masses that turds are diamonds.
I assume that usually the bureaucrats produce rubbish, the same way it goes down where you work. But every now and then, the blind squirrel finds his nuts, so to speak. For example, the Axis of Evil is one of the best turds-are-diamonds ever. It sounds great rolling off your tongue. It’s instantly memorable, fresh, and awesome all at once. It turned a bunch of unrelated security problems into something sexy. Love it or hate it, you have to admit it was effective leadership.
And so I imagine the members of the so-called Axis of Evil trying to come up with a similarly awesome label for us, as payback. But it’s not as easy as it seems. That’s why I laughed when I saw this New York Times article in which Iran’s state run media referred to America as part of the “triangle of wickedness.” Apparently the triangle includes America, Israel, and Miscellaneous.
I will allow that there are some translation issues here. Triangle of wickedness probably sounds way more awesome in Farsi. But it does make me wonder what phrases they considered before they landed on the Triangle of Wickedness.
One clue is that they had to add a miscellaneous category just to get the threat level up to triangle. Otherwise the labeling options are limited to Duo of Duplicity, or the Gruesome Twosome, or the Twin Terribles. See? It’s harder than you think.
I was also amused by Iran’s accusation that America and Israel killed a random college professor just because, if anyone asked, he could do a good job of explaining what a nuclear bomb is. I assume our next targets are everyone who has access to Wikipedia. That’s exactly the sort of evil you would expect from the um. Conjoined Corrupters?