Did you hear about the Bangladeshi brick company that beheaded an employee to improve the color of its bricks?
This tragic incident raises many questions. The article is vague, but I assume a supervisor or some sort of boss was leading this strategy. So I wonder how the employee was chosen? Was he the worst worker, the biggest complainer, or the guy who looked the most like a brick?
You probably wonder why someone didn’t speak out against this plan when it first came up. But my guess is that as soon as the beheading topic is on the table, disagreement trails off fast. That’s a management technique called “getting buy-in.”
I wonder how the boss broke the news to the employee. Did he work up to it with a list of criticisms about the employee’s job performance? As a boss, you don’t want to start that sort of conversation with the beheading part. Begin with something like “I noticed you’ve been late twice this week.” That way it isn’t such a cruel shock when you get to the decapitation scenario.
I wonder if the boss made any clever puns when he was breaking the news. I would have started the conversation with something like “You know how I always said you have a good head on your shoulders?” Or maybe I would have gone with the good-news-bad-news set up. “The good news is that you’ll save a fortune in hats…”
I wonder what it’s like to go home after work when you just beheaded a coworker.
Wife: “Hi, Honey. How was your day?”
Employee: “The usual. I swept up some brick debris, then a few of the guys and I beheaded Bob.”
Wife: “You WHAT???”
Employee: “Brick debris. It’s everywhere.”
And I wonder how specific the Fortune Teller was when recommending the beheading as a way to fix the bricks. When I try to follow a recipe in the kitchen, I always run into a part that seems too vague. If I were involved, I’d be wondering if I’m supposed to use the head part or the rest of the body. Is stirring involved? How long is it supposed to simmer? I’d go through half of the marketing department before I got the bricks just the right color.