If you know someone who works in H.R., or someone who is somewhat evil for other reasons, or someone who likes cats, send them a link to the new Catbert T-shirts then demand a favor in return, because you deserve it.
It’s a little-known fact that most t-shirts of this sort are purchased as gifts. It’s like a greeting card that says, “The message on this shirt reminds me of you.” So if your reaction to these shirts is something along the lines of “I wouldn’t wear it,” you’re not understanding the product. The relevant question is whether you know someone who would be amused to get a Catbert shirt as a gift.
I’m especially interested in which of the four messages you think is the best for a Catbert shirt.