Lately my allergies have been so bad that they trigger asthma attacks. So I started taking some asthma meds and discovered an amazing phenomenon: It doubled my IQ. That’s just an estimate, but it feels about right.
The increase doesn’t happen right away, and it isn’t a direct thing. One of the alleged side-effects of the medicine is that it kills libido in some people. That was my experience. The sex drive that had defined me for a lifetime just went away.
The first thing you need to understand is that when your sex drive disappears you don’t miss it. You can’t miss what you don’t want. Rather than feeling irritable about losing the core organizing principle of my life, I felt relieved. It was like crossing off half of my to-do list with no effort whatsoever. My mind was clear. I was focused. I could go deep.
Losing my sex drive felt like a superpower. I had some of the best ideas of my life that week. (That is literally true.) Now I see why Captain Kirk sometimes moved power from life-support to weapons. When you have the option of putting all of your energy into one function – in my case my brain – it makes a huge difference.
My IQ as a eunuch was sizzling. In fact, if a eunuch applied for a job with me I wouldn’t even ask any other questions. I would hire him on the spot. It would be like hiring Superman to move your furniture. I would know that guy was focused.
I should pause here to explain a few things to the women reading this blog. The typical male brain is a computer that has to reboot every 30 seconds. Men can think about non-sexual topics for half-a-minute, tops. But we know we’ll die if we don’t sometimes think about food and shelter and whatnot, so we’re continuously bouncing between sex and non-sex thoughts. It never ends.
Sometimes we game the system by merging our sexual and non-sexual thoughts. During the workday it looks like this: If I get this new job, I’ll make a lot of money, and that will increase my odds of sex. On our own time, it looks like this: If I exercise hard enough, my body will look attractive and that will increase my odds of sex.
And if you’re married it looks like this: The news says there will be a meteor shower tonight. I hope my wife doesn’t get hit by a meteor, but if she does it will increase my odds of sex.
Some days it’s like a machine gun coming at you. You have to assemble packets as they cross your brain:….sex….boring stuff….sex…boring stuff….etc. You’re multiplexing because you need to. You’re wired that way. And it effectively lowers your IQ.
The founders of our country understood this problem. That’s why a man can’t be president until he reaches an age where the risk of civil war is more compelling than his next orgasm. Personally, I hadn’t yet reached that point. But after a few hits of my asthma meds I was ready to negotiate some trade policy.
Unfortunately, this superpower doesn’t last. Apparently my body is getting used to the meds. I’m feeling a return to normalcy and that means I’m having trouble focusing on finishing this … um… screw it. I’m going to the gym.
Co-founder of CalendarTree.com
A dozen ideas that could change your life