Quantcast
An Unusual Argument for Electing Hillary Clinton - Scott Adams' Blog

An Unusual Argument for Electing Hillary Clinton

According to some of the Kurds, the fighters in ISIS believe they won’t go to heaven if they are killed by a woman on the battlefield.

I wonder if ISIS fighters really believe that.

And if they do…

What would happen if the Commander in Chief of the United States were Hillary Clinton? And let’s say we train as many women to fly jets and drop bombs as we can. Or perhaps we only need a handful of female pilots plus some propaganda that claims a growing number of the pilots are female.

The idea would be to go full-sexist (on paper) and present the idea that the United States has collectively delegated the destruction of ISIS to women. We’ll say the drones are operated by women too.

That would take some of the fun out of joining ISIS, I would think.

The key to selling this idea is starting slow. Maybe we do some PR about recruiting more female pilots to fight ISIS. A year later we announce that women are volunteering like crazy to be pilots (whether it is true or not). Then we start dropping leaflets saying our women are coming to bring death from the air, courtesy of Ms. Clinton. To sound credible, perhaps we say on the notes that there’s a sixty-percent chance that any particular bomb is dropped by a woman. Next month you move that number up to 65% and so on, so it looks like a trend.

If we have too many boots on the ground, the subterfuge would become obvious. But if we only deliver death from the sky, I think we can sell that as coming from women. Especially if some of it does, which I assume is already the case.

But first you need to put a wall around the Caliphate, including a “virtual” border secured by drones, mines, and whatnot. A defined border is necessary for psychological reasons. Until the world builds a wall around the Caliphate it will seem as if we are fighting an ideology that has no borders. For psychological reasons, we need to convert ISIS from an idea to an address. Then we can send our women to bomb the shit out of that address.

And obviously we need to preserve as many innocent lives as possible while doing what needs to be done.

Some of you will chime in with pig-related ideas (dipping bombs in pig fat, etc.). But to my ears, that just sounds offensive to Muslims without packing much of a psychological punch. 

Here I remind new(ish) readers that most of my ideas are terrible. The fun is figuring out why.

And I don’t endorse any candidate. I’m not smart enough to know who would do the best job of president.