May I Stipulate?

February 16, 2015

When a lawyer stipulates, it means he accepts a statement of fact as true without argument. Stipulating is a big time-saver in the legal world. I propose that we borrow the stipulating concept for our everyday conversations.

For example, I would like to stipulate the following.

Stipulations

I will stipulate that your ex is the bad one, not you. 

I will stipulate that you laughed out loud this morning while reading a Dilbert comic but now you don’t remember what it was about. 

I will stipulate that you enjoy some types of wine more than others, and that you have details you could share if only I would stop covering my ears and chanting “yayayayayaya”.

I will further stipulate that sometimes an inexpensive wine tastes good.

I will stipulate that you don’t watch much television except for binge-watching on Netflix.

I will stipulate that you enjoyed the show Breaking Bad.

I will stipulate that you are too busy to exercise lately but you have good intentions.

If you are on one of those diets with occasional cheat days, I will stipulate that you are looking forward to the next one. 

I will stipulate that you are still not a morning person.

I will stipulate that you are NOT a vegetarian, and will NEVER be one, because you love your meat.

I will stipulate that you have a negative opinion of everything President Obama has done, is doing, or will do. 

I will stipulate that bad weather makes you feel sad.

I will stipulate that you don’t believe climate change is happening because it was cold yesterday.

I will stipulate that Wednesday is hump day, swimming is the best form of exercise, and your six-pack abs are “more like a keg, ha ha!”

Do you have any stipulations you would like to add?

Scott Adams

P.S. Over on Twitter (@ScottAdamsSays) people are trying to figure out what I meant by my tweet “I hope the new Apple self-driving car comes with a windshield wiper on the inside.”

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