November 4, 2008
There are many election-related signs in my town. Some signs are in lawns, or along public roads. Others are waved by small groups of enthusiasts at major intersections. These signs make me a little bit sad, because there are only two explanations for their existence:
1. Voters are so dumb they can be swayed by signs.
2. Signs make no difference whatsoever but the people running for office and supporting various ballot propositions are too dumb to realize it.
Either way, it’s not a good thing.
Down the road from my house a guy has been spending hours a day standing at an intersection vigorously waving an Obama sign. I don’t mean to be unkind, but my story demands that you know this fellow looks like a bit of a douche bag. The only information he is conveying is that if you vote for Obama you can belong to a group that includes at least one douche bag, guaranteed. (I have not ruled out the possibility that he secretly supports McCain and this is some sort of dirty trick.)
If you are a registered voter in the United States, today you must choose between the Antichrist and the only guy that scares the piss out of the Antichrist. My strategy involves buying a wheelbarrow and waiting for the rapture. I understand there will be a lot of gold fillings and diamond earrings left for me and my homeys.